If I Don't Love me...

This is just coming out of much pondering and from the beautiful mind of Tyra Banks and cycle 3 of ANTM. For all of you that can remember, this was the cycle with Eva, and she caused much havoc in just the first episode! She would make really crude and crass remarks about the other girls and their bodies, and gets in front of Tyra and says that she's this way because she is a loner and she had no one to run to but herself when things got tough. Tyra being the Mama she is, asks her to reflect on all the people in her life who put her down, and then asks would she want other people to feel that way?
Maybe I'm just bitter, but it really got to me that CeCe would imply that I was weak just because I can admit when I am wrong and apologize. I, too have had many people put me down and do me dirty because of the way I look, and I let all of that negativity shape who I am and how I feel about myself. I question myself all the time, always thinking about what someone else will say. I never ask "Do I look good enough for me?" I always think, "do I look good for the public?"
I cannot continue this pattern of behavior. I want to be myself, love myself, cherish, adore, and honor myself. Laugh at myself when I make mistakes, and brush myself off when I fall. I don't want others to suffer the way I have, so I guess that's why I'm so kind. Please don't think I am all powder and roses either. I do have a mean streak, but she has rare occasion to show her face. But I digress, how do I expect to raise a child if I don't have love for myself. How can I teach someone to love everything about themselves, if I can't even look at myself in the mirror too long? Something's gotta give.