Random Observation

Just wanted to jot this down for my own memory:

" The funny thing about "needs" is that once they're met, you really don't "need" them anymore."

Carrie Bradshaw (Sex and the City)

Get it while supplies last...

I was just speaking with a co-worker of mine and the only topic of conversation these days is the state of the world. If Marvin Gaye were still alive, I am sure he would have had a "What's Goin On Weekend"! Lord do we need it. He probably would have changed the name of the song to "What the hell's goin on here?!" ~smirking. After swapping a couple of "have you heards", she said something very thought provoking... she said

"Q, you need to snatch up your happiness while you can, cuz it don't last long here!"

And what she said could not be any truer. It's like the patent on happiness has expired and there won't be any new and improved models introduced in this earthly market. It will only be able to be found in one place only--our heavenly destinations. I guess that's why I shouldn't stress over dumb stuff and stop depending on others to make me happy. Only the joy of the Lord and I can do that. That really gave me something to think about...

Random Thought

"It's gonna be a sweet night tonight. Anything that goes wrong later on, will definitely be made right!"

This was inspired by the abundance of cake that has been contributed by my wonderful mother (brown sugar chocolate cake) and the wonderful Miss Beryl who makes the intoxicating white cake that I love so very much! This is also a testament to how I use food to change my mood! SMH

Can I get a Amen?

"Church Mess" is running wild these days! It is off the chain and out of control. I guarantee that you won't ever get talked about worse or harder than at a church. They talk about your shoes if they come from Prada or Payless, if your clothes came from Dillards or the Dump, if your hair has spent it's whole life with a comb in it or currently in witness protection from one...you get my drift.
I just wish that sometimes people could just tend to their own business, but then I would be dead and living in heaven (hopefully), so that's just a wish ridin through! It doesn't matter where you are and what church you attend, you will find some mess or it will find you. Whatever way...it happens!

I am a member of my church's choir and I remember a time when we used to look just like that choir above, you know, all happy and getting along and stuff, ripping and running up the highways and byways with the pastor, fellowshipping and going over to people's houses for fried chicken and whatnot...you know. But now it just feels like that sister in the pic below...

Everyone is so worried about the wrong things and not focused on the right ones. Leaders are followers in disguise, and wouldn't know how to lead a ant to his hill. Then when the leader can't talk to people..it results in doing things in a underhanded way that just ain't good for anybody...

More on this to come!

My new Baby!

I am finally a camera owner! Here is my baby! I have always been a Canon girl, but something told me to just pick up the Nikon... It felt so comfortable in my hands and it performed great and the pictures looked great too. It was like a puppy choosing my as it's owner; a truly wonderful feeling! I am on my way to becoming the photographer I want to be.

Rising Down

Well, I am still on my feet. The last few days have been quite hectic and emotionally draining, but I choose to maintain. I still haven't really talked to the person I mentioned in the last post, but I am adjusting quite nicely. Anyway, now that my ideal of a friend is nothing that I thought it was, I don't have anything to talk about. I don't feel that I have anything to share. So if she asks me what's new....oh nothing. I will keep you posted on the progress.

If I Don't Love me...

This is just coming out of much pondering and from the beautiful mind of Tyra Banks and cycle 3 of ANTM. For all of you that can remember, this was the cycle with Eva, and she caused much havoc in just the first episode! She would make really crude and crass remarks about the other girls and their bodies, and gets in front of Tyra and says that she's this way because she is a loner and she had no one to run to but herself when things got tough. Tyra being the Mama she is, asks her to reflect on all the people in her life who put her down, and then asks would she want other people to feel that way?
Maybe I'm just bitter, but it really got to me that CeCe would imply that I was weak just because I can admit when I am wrong and apologize. I, too have had many people put me down and do me dirty because of the way I look, and I let all of that negativity shape who I am and how I feel about myself. I question myself all the time, always thinking about what someone else will say. I never ask "Do I look good enough for me?" I always think, "do I look good for the public?"
I cannot continue this pattern of behavior. I want to be myself, love myself, cherish, adore, and honor myself. Laugh at myself when I make mistakes, and brush myself off when I fall. I don't want others to suffer the way I have, so I guess that's why I'm so kind. Please don't think I am all powder and roses either. I do have a mean streak, but she has rare occasion to show her face. But I digress, how do I expect to raise a child if I don't have love for myself. How can I teach someone to love everything about themselves, if I can't even look at myself in the mirror too long? Something's gotta give.

Some Morning Confusion???

For a long time, I thought a "friend" was someone in whom you could trust, one on whom you could depend, and of course one in whom you could confide your secrets and desires, but I was thrown for a loop when I found out that someone who I thought was my "best" friend concealed something from me. In addition to my rising PMS, I was damn mad, downright upset, and just plain hurt that she felt she couldn't trust me with that little tid bit of information.
The tid bit is that she has been dating someone. Now if it was someone I didn't even know, then that would have been alright, but this is someone she tried to date in the past and someone I already knew of, so loddy frickin dah! Anyway, she tells me and I am not in the least taken aback by "who" she is dating, but the fact that I am just finding out just instantly pissed me off!
Now you must understand her, she is one who does not like to be without a sig other. She is always on the look out for the latest and greatest of availables and non-availables to show off to others and the church is her platform. (Sad but true). So to sum things up, I expressed how hurt I was she didn't confide in me. She cries about how she doesn't have anyone (at the moment) to worship her and her greatness, and then proceeds to tell me that I am in that shape because I am weak due to extreme apologeticness, and having a damn heart. Oh! and being kind. Here is a question that I want to try to explore by myself at a later date: Whatever happened to the nice Black Woman? & Why is "The Bitch" the one that gets the man? Anyway... PMS is still rising. Still a lil upset. But still I rise!